My Crimbo Lyrics!

I've been writing Christmas songs for many years now but I've never got anywhere with them and thus my dream of having a number one hit that allows me to retire off the royalties remains a piped one. I don't know what the exact problem is. The melodies are all catchy, and the production values on each song are all second to none. Part of me, however, suspects that my lyrics may be - well - just a little complex. I've printed a few lines from three of my best songs below. Perhaps you could help me simplify them a little or point me in the direction of other songs from where I might draw influence!

No 1, No 1: "It was the day before Christmas, sweetheart. I was detained in a police facility commonly used to accommodate people who are heavily intoxicated. While there, a senior citizen remarked to me that, in his view, it was unlikely that he would still be alive a year from now. He then broke into a song, the subject of which concerned a type of precipitation that is not often found on steep hills. I wasn't interested in the tune so I looked away and fell into a reverie that had you as its subject."

I feel this one needs just a slight tweak.

No. 1, No. 2: "I express a strong hope that it would be possible for Christmas to become a quotidian affair, one where the children begin to utter a series of words or sounds in musical tones, and defined combinations of musicians commence their respective performances. Oh-oh-oh-oh."

Catchy I know, but to make it timeless, maybe one more edit.

No 1, No 3: "Fruit from the genus of deciduous tree and/or shrub species entitled, Castanea, are currently cooking via a prolonged exposure to heat above a source that is not wholly enclosed by a stove or furnace."

I can't think of any easier way of getting the idea across. Help!

Meantime, may the forthcoming annual Christian festival celebrating Christ's birth provide you all with feelings of pleasure or contentment. And may subsequent ones be the same. :)

More soon.

Have a good one!