Officially a Sound Man!

Seven odd years ago I completed a one-year night course in sound engineering and music production at the Sound Training Centre in Dublin. Looking back on it now, it was a really worthwhile experience - a great course run by people who really knew and dearly loved their onions and sat by a great bunch of classmates, many of whom went on to achieve big and bright things in the music business and beyond. Doing the course wasn't without dividends for me either in that it acted as the catalyst that caused me to re-kindle my interest in playing music and to pick up my guitar again after a three year hiatus. Doing that, in turn, led to me discover and fall hook, line and sinker for the ukulele which, in turn, led me to form a band, something that I'd wanted to do for my whole life up to that point. Being in the band, in turn, re-kindled in me the will to sing and to write songs and this, in turn, led me to playing live gigs in front of loads of people and to record some of my own tunes, which in turn led to me getting on the radio and to appearing on the telly and so on and so forth and so fifth. When I think of all the things that came as a consequence of doing the course then, it would be hard, or rude even, to ask for anything more!

One strange thing about the course though was that despite paying whatever amount of grand it was to do it and despite attending it two evenings a week for nearly ten months and despite living and breathing every sound wave and every frequency ever dreamed up, I never really knew whether I was any good at it or even if I'd passed it or not. Yeah, I studied long and hard, I diligently completed all the assignments and dutifully sat all the exams. But the reason I never knew I was any good was because I never got the certificate, the bit o' paper, to tell me either way!

I remember ringing the college several times back then and telling them this but every time I called they told me that my results had been posted out to me and to relax because according to their records I 'd passed. But no letter ever arrived and thus not having the physical proof meant I couldn't tell anyone with complete certainty that I was qualified in sound engineering and music production. 'Try me on capital cities,' I'd say when the subject was broached. For seven long years, I changed the subject at the mere mention of the word jack or cans or toppy or polishing turds while deep inside me my jeerer of an ego mocked and slagged me that I wasn't qualified to put a sticker on a guitar case. Seven years is a long time to be left in musical technological limboland I can tell you!

Fast forward to yesterday though, when I bumped into the person currently living in my old gaff and who told me, by the bye, that she had a bag of letters for me that she'd been meaning to send me for 'god knows how long now'. (7 and a half years, m'dear!) So she ran into the gaff and got the bag and handed it to me and I brought it home and sifted through it to find that it contained nothing of interest beyond old bills and bank statements and junk mail. All valueless - except for one other item. Post-marked 16-08-07, it was a sealed 'Please do not bend' envelope which immediately drew my attention. So I tore it open and found inside ... one letter of congratulations on successfully completing the Sound and Music Technology course from the college principal of the Sound Training Centre; one certificate of attendance at said course  AND ... dan-dan-dannnnn ... one City and Guilds certificate which told me, for good and for bad, for better and for worse, that I'd passed the course - with distinction! Yahooooo!

So there you have it - you are now in the company of a qualified sound and music technology man of seven years standing - with the papers to prove it. And even if demon time has rendered the diploma as worthless as me Telecom shares - one thing for certain is that, because it officially represents the things that put the ukulele in my hand and playing music in my mind, that certificate is going to be framed and back-dated and placed with pride and glory on the finest part of my living room wall!  And for y'all to come and see!

Click to rock to one of my old assignments!